Last Day in England

So the time has come to say goodbye to England. Driving back from our final game tonight, I was besieged by that bittersweet feeling that always pervades the ending of some great thing – an emotion that remains undefined by even the greatest writers. No words could adequately convey that sense of being caught between the solemnity of a conclusion and the freshness and purity of a new beginning. It was such a perfect evening for reminiscing, too. The steely blue of the late afternoon sky gave way to gray, misty mountains on the horizon. As pale green meadows, dotted with delicate yellow wild flowers, whirled by outside the window, the sun began its descent into the hills behind us; its departing rays cast a golden glow upon the land, giving the countryside a soft dreamlike quality. I know I’ve spoken openly about how beautiful I think England is, but quiet reverie evokes even more appreciation for those things that have already taken a hold of your heart.

……..later………….

It’s late now, and there’s a chill to the air that makes it seem more like September and less like May, but the night is clear and the sharpness of the breeze keeps me awake. For now, I sit quietly in the courtyard, listening to silence echo off the cobblestones. The sky above me is dark, but the stars are bright and they shine forth in the darkness, brilliant and luminous. Everything is so still. I feel that even the clicks of my keyboard are an intrusion on the peace that has befallen the cottages. My teammates are asleep, snuggled into their warm comforters and lost to the visions of slumber. But I’ve already decided I won’t sleep tonight. It’s something that I do occasionally, when I feel that a moment is too special to just let go of in an instant, too sacred and full of emotion to let sleep overtake me. I lie awake and soak in every last minute of time the night will give me, and in the morning, I offer up a prayer as I watch the sunrise. Obviously, I feel so blessed to have been on this trip, but tonight is so much more than that for me. You see, almost a year ago to the day, I was lying on the ground barely conscious, having suffered my first POTS attack. That night on my senior trip, my world came crashing down around me, and many times since I have wondered if I would ever step foot on a soccer field again. And now, in less time than it took the earth to make a full revolution around the sun, I was lacing up my boots to play on Everton FC’s official training ground against one of the best teams in England. I’m sitting in the courtyard of centuries-old stables, soaking in the glitter of the half moon far above my head. No, tonight is not for sleeping. Tonight is not for dreaming about things that may be. Tonight is for remembering how gracious our God is, and thanking Him as a new day dawns.  I have 8 and half hours to sleep on the plane tomorrow…

………….even later……….

It’s 4.21 am, and the sun is already rising steadily to greet the day with its light. The morning is stunningly clear, the crisp and pure as pours into the window, carrying with it the most beautiful melodies of the song birds. They call out their “good mornings” to each other in colorful and lovely tones, chirping and tweeting their bright notes. It’s amazing how much light is already seeping into the sky, and how alive the outdoors has become since I drew up a bath. I, too, am newly awakened with a fresh vigor, though I have not slept at all. How can I sleep, at such a time as this? No, I am eternally glad that I am here to see the last sunrise of my time in England, and later I shall greet the day myself out in the garden. There is something so sacred about this hour, when the earth once again becomes illuminated, and life is restored after its slumber in darkness. The dawn is God’s daily reminder that soon all darkness shall cease, and life eternal shall begin, and never end. One day, we will wake not to the light of the sun, but to the light of the glory of God, not to the songs of the birds, but to the songs of saints and angels.